Insecure

It has been two days and I have felt a mix of satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment. Things have changed not drastically, but has got me thinking. Is this what I really want? On the contrary of my achievement, I have also felt guilty and confused. This is probably the first time I've been serious with something, and it does bother me. It feels like too much. It feels like nothing has changed, it feels like I should be happier than I already was. It feels insecure. For me personally I am in a situation where nothing else matters, as long as it makes me smile and go through days with that extra bit of faith and hope. But I feel selfish. Selfish because I am doing something for my own benefit, I have forgotten about those around me. Now I know what it means by everything changes once you commit to something. I was so ready, I was so keen, I was so unaware. I sound so depressed.
What should I do? What should I do before things get more serious? It's so hard. I may appear like I am on the top of the moon, nothing else beats this feeling. But I have this gut feeling...and it's not the adrenalin running through my system either. It feels wrong, but it feels oh so right. Is this part of a challenge that my life has prepared for me? Is it just for experience? Did I take the right path? What can go wrong? Decisions. Decisions suck. Making decisions suck.
One person can mean so much to another. The significance of their presence for that person becomes more and more emphasised as days go by. I can't say that I wouldn't cope if I hadn't met that certain person, I can't say that I couldn't live without them. I can't say that they mean to the world for me when I don't even know the world myself. I can't say anything.
Can I still go on like this? It makes me feel so worried. Worried eventhough it's one of the best things that has happened to me. Maybe I should just wait and see what's next for me. Maybe I should go with the flow, take whatever's thrown at me. I have said it before, and I am sure I can do it.

Its just another teenage episode. Maybe.