post-hsc

Well, my exams finished off with a bang! Following Biology, my classmates and I jumped, hugged and screamed for joy. It was a very raw and exhilarating feeling! Never felt more happier in my life. My best friend and his cousin hosted their 18th on Friday. Elena, my alpaca, also had an 18th birthday party on Saturday. Both nights were memorable and a good opportunity to let off some steam and celebrate the end of an era with everyone.

So what now? My calendar is gradually filling up with things to do and places to go to. I have about 12 days left til I depart for Vietnam. 5 weeks later, I hope to get a job or find something productive to do with my life hahah.

Life is sweet!

breatheeeeeeeeee.

I'm not as anxious as I thought I would be. Let's hope it stays this way...

You should all take 4 minutes off to boogie to this song:

You know you want to...

This will all pass by very quickly!

Walk in with a smile and do your best everyone :)

nothing really

Studying sucks, I'm so over it..

It felt so refreshing to just take a drive and roll down my windows. Be in a familiar place but surrounded by unfamiliar faces. And a little bit of retail therapy.

Well YELE thinks I won't be able to complete my bucket list. Yeah, it's true. But I've narrowed it down:

I'll be spontaneous!

*thinks of Christina*

I miss:

chillin'

group hugs

being genuinely bored

schoooool

everyone

Booo, Kim you whore stop moping and go and study.

Dear Future Kim

Amidst sitting the HSC in a few weeks time, I just deactivated my Twitter- my one and only vice.

My amusement comes in the form of fuckyearforeveralone toons and making references to dumb movies like Mean Girls.

I constantly daydream about owning a powder blue vespa and having picnics with my friends.

I haven't used the polaroid camera, and I hope by then you've bought more film and made good use of it, that would make Ron happy.

The thought of studying has become my subconscious. Alas, only thought and not of action.

I'll be getting my provisionals soon after my last exam, I'm ecstatic!

I hope you finally had that YELEKI sleepover.

I hope you're practicing your scales again.

I hope you're reading books again.

Do something outrageous for once.

Go catch up with your primary school friends :)

Take up a new hobby.

You better have got a job by now, and save up for travelling.

I hope you are not as technology-possessed as I was.

I hope you're content.

Love,

Present Kim

P.S: was inspired by this-

people and places

Of all the pictures and photographs I collect, the majority are of places I dream of waking up in. I find a pathetic loser in me as I think, if I don't put in enough effort I would never be able to go to these places. This pathetic loser is right in so many aspects.

Olivia Lopez. Styling, shooting from film cameras, and just bathing in her well-earned glory. Just as she says, lusting for life.

source: lustforlife.blogspot.com

So I look at Tahiti and its impeccably clear water, the Louvre in France, gondolas in Venice, Santorini, Lanzorote... and I continue to dream.

How fulfilling would it be to be able to think 'they won't know what hit them'.

Imagine getting where you want for just being you.

"...and because you’re eighteen, because you’re still vulnerable, because you still don’t have faith in yourself, you talk a little fliply, a little too wisely, just to cover up so you won’t be accused of sentimentality or emotionalism or feminine tactics. you cover up, so you can still laugh at yourself while there’s time."

— SYLVIA PLATH

Bleu Celeste.

I love sitting in my folding chair in weather like this.

It was all blue. A clean slate, an undisturbed canvas. A paintbrush covered by pigments of powder white presses against the canvas. The pigments, like specks of dust, slide and sway across in a horizontal manner. The round ball of gold becomes luminescent, blurred, shying away from the newcomers. The scratch of his paws against the aged concrete comes to a halt, and he sits beside me. Puts a paw on my arm and brushes his wet nozzle on my hand. Ick. Flap, flap, a pair of wings and its owner perch on the dark skeleton of a deciduous. The roar of a lawn mower comes to life. Beneath me is the most soft and gentle carpet, but I dare not immerse my toes into it. Who knows what other life forms I could be distracting. A car's horn beeps twice, and makes it way outside of the crescent. The painting is complete. They call it sky blue.

5 minutes

Because my first HSC experience was merely a 5 minute conversation in Japanese, I will try to compose this post in 5 minutes! KGO.

Long car ride to and back.

Made some friends. One dude looked like the lead singer from Coldplay!

Fobby people "I'm SO FOOUKED"

Snobby people, and us trying to find studious-looking people to see who we're up against.

Scary corridors. Scary supervisors.

CRAZZZZZZZZZZZYYY WIND.

Singing really loudly.

Panicking, hyperventilating, wanting to die.

Cute little Japanese lady was my examiner.

Some pauses, some unexpected questions, some things went my way which was awesome.

Mixed emotions of relief and depression.

Sitting in the middle of a football field picking grass and talking about things.

Rude drivers on the road.

Attempting to pick up chicks as we drive pass.

Getting annoyed at 2010 election posters and every damn school we passed.

THAI AND LAOS FOOD NOM NOM NOM

Feeling very exhausted and drained.

Thinking about Japanese, answering in Japanese, having all things Japanese in our heads.

We made it!

Okay that took around 6 minutes. Queen of Elaboration I am.

Tim Gunn

"Physical Comfort is Overrated

Some people think of dressing up or being polite as burden. They think having to wear a tie or use the right fork or send thank-you card is kind of a shackle. To these people I say: Getting out of bed is a shackle. If you feel that way, stay in it! Invest in a hospital gurney and wheel yourself around on it when you need to go out. I get very impatient with this whole "comfort issue" with clothing. Yes, you don't feel as comfortable in clothes that fit as you do in pajamas. Thats a good thing. You're navigating a world where you need to have your wits about you. If you're in a lackadaisical comfort haze, you can't be engaged in the world the way you need to be."

-that dude from Project Runway America

"Talk to me."

one week down

This week has been a nightmare.

I had my first tragic meltdown in which I ran to my mum's room at 1am telling her I want to die.

Parents have been realistic and understanding. I think being honest with them is better than giving them false hope. But I ought to try my best, I owe them so much.

Some exams have been alright. My eyebags are about to take up the size of my cheeks.

This week has taught me a few lessons too.

• Never again will I have irregular sleeping hours because right now my heart is racing and I can't bring myself to taking naps. And I feel really light and woozy.
• Never again will I cram a year's worth of content a few nights/the night before.
• Never again will I simply adjust and learn essays that have been used for my assessments, but rather, know my texts/topic well.
• Never again will I consume more than one cup of coffee. Nice, but not healthy.

Old habits die hard.

I feel like death.

But I've gotta hang on for Japanese and the actual HSC Jap Speaking.

Hang in there everyone!

P.S: Jun Hon Lam is the freaking bomb.

take me here

via

arigatou, merci, thank you

Jimmy Nguyen: You're always there. I love it when you call me 'just to have a chat' even for a few minutes on your walk home at night, or on a bright sunny day. You remind me to live life.

Mell Tran: You motivate me to study, you care about me like nobody else does and you call me sporadically. Your cheerful "HELLOOOOO!" makes my day. I wish I could spend every day with you. I need to develop them film photos!

Yen Mi Dao: Don't know what school would be without you. You entertain me, you make me laugh, you're so cute. You're straight-forward and you tell it like it is, and thats what I need most of the time.

Alicia Wong: Hey Juuuuude. Feels like I hardly see you anymore except in Jap and English. You're full of high spirits, you make me feel like working hard to be just like you(if only I could). Keep grinning that grin of yours because it brightens up my day.

Elena Alic: You're so supportive of me 100%. You make Maths enjoyable, even if you're perving on ________. :P I'll zumba with you one day. You make me feel determined. We can do this, we got this.

Ron Nguyen: You stay up with me, you make sure I'm okay and you help me see things straight. You believe in me and always wish for the best. You're so thoughtful. You give me hope even when I've lost it.

Andy Chu: You're always looking on the positive side, you're always there to tell me things will be alright. You're always cheering me up and listening to my complaints. You're so chill, it makes me chill too.

Tim Tran: You're so helpful, you encourage me that I can be better, that I am better. I really appreciate having you around, you're so le gay.

Tony Phan: You ask me how I'm feeling, you always offer to help me out and reassuring me that everything will be "ok". I feel at ease when we talk.

David Bui: We hardly hang out let alone talk anymore. I miss you and I miss those days. When I think of you, I'm always reminded of your 'keep on keeping on'. And that keeps me keeping on.

Jun Hon Lam: Random and ridiculously brief msn conversations with you makes me wish I was around you more often. I still think of you when I listen to Travis Mccoy's 'Billionaire'. Your perseverance inspires me.

Twitter family: You guys put up with my neurotic, over-emotional and annoying outbursts. We're like a whole different world and it keeps me sane.

move on

What's that word when you get over things easily? When you've become so numb to the shit that has happened to you and around you, all you want to do is move the hell on. Though, I don't know why it's decided to come all at once. Guess I'll go on like this. At least wallow and absorb the reality for a moment, but there's no use in wasting your energy moping about it. I'm silly, I'm dumb, I learn things the hard way but to hell with it. Life throws things at you and you either dodge it or you take it, swallow it, and excrete it into that pit that screams 'irrelevance.'

Been needing a sense of finality and satisfaction. I'll make it.

A back massage would be nice too.

seventeen

Thank you for all the birthday wishes guys :$

Someone from your childhood

Patrick. I think you had a little brother. You were my neighbour. Your grandma liked to give us food once in a while. I remember my mum carried me over the fence so I could come over and play. Yeah, instead of walking outside like a normal person. You dobbed on me, you said I called you "may" instead of "ban". Non-viets, "may" is an impolite way of saying "you". It's real harsh. "Ban" is "friend", almost equivalent to our modern "bro" or "homie". Well, not really. It just sounds better. My parents scolded me, that I shouldn't use such derogatory terms. I think from that day on I was more cautious of what I say, more courteous, more nicer to the kids I hung with. Thanks for that Patrick. Your grandma moved away, so you didn't get dropped off to be looked after anymore. One of these days we may pass each other and come off as complete strangers. One of these days we may meet again. But who knows. I wonder how you're doing. I hope you're doing well.

you are by far my favourite

Alicia Wong...

How do I even begin to explain Alicia Wong?

Yen Mi: She is legen...wait for it.. dairy.

Khoa: happychap

Anthony: AWESOME! CRAZY! MEXICANO! BEATLES! ASIAN! GIRL!

Thong: BJ. She loves BJ. Although her BJ skills aren't that good yet

Mell: She is...Sparkleyy

She likes The Beatles. She sings with me randomly, with lots of passion. She puts up with my mediocre Japanese and helps me all the time. She grins at me from across the room, with that special bubbly big big grin of hers. I've known her for a while and looking back, I can only recall that it's always been good times and good memories with her. I just looked at my post back in 2008 for her 15th and we used to be so silly :) "Lemon" and "Yoon Ai" "the adventures of ducky&lemon" "rainbow socks"

In 2008 I told her "don't be too nerdy just yet..be outrageous. Be out there. Be cooooool. AND STAY COOL!!!"

Two years later, she's still cool. She's always been nerdy and she's always up for a little adventure. I don't think I tell her enough how much I appreciate having her around, but I do. She's a great friend :)

Happy Birthday Lee. I hope you have an uberly amazingly wonderful time because you absolutely deserve it!

Lots of love xox

YELEKI FTW

I heart YouTube stars

My guilty pleasure: I spend my spare time stumbling upon the many talented, many amazing singers of Youtube...They continue to make covers, write original songs, and we wonder why they aren't famous yet. But I love how they just keep to their little channel, gaining thousands of subscriptions, millions of views. Maybe make a little album. Amazebaaaaaaallls.

Ongoing obsessions: ClaraCMusic, MarieDigby, victorvictorkim, ilajil, davidchoimusic, blinktwice4y, misssophiemadeleine, msjenixe

They put CMAJGR to shame..

(sorry troll)

hello bebo

Found these a good chuckle down memory lane:

compare the pair

Now that I think of it... Gordon Butt could pass as my sassy gay friend.

the cute bunch

Last day of second last term...

I'm gonna miss all of this :(

biggest slap in the face

STOP FREAKING OUT AND JUST DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.

In two hours it'll be July, half a year already gone.

August - Trials

Days left - 105days.

October - HSC.

There's a reality check.

clairvoyance

Title: just because. I like the way it sounds and it reminds me of Claire.

My dad insists that he can fill my hot water bottles without any mishaps. But every time he does so, he burns himself due to overfilling it and the cover is always a bit soaked. Then the soaked parts become cold and clearly defeats the purpose of a hot water bottle. I know he just doesn't want another repeat of my hand being burnt so he does it all for me :) aint that sweet. If you haven't got one already, I highly recommend that you get a hot water bottle for the upcoming(or rather, recent) cold winter days. You won't even need to use a heater! It's a glorious substitute for those times you need a nice warm cuddle and better yet, stays with you all night long.

Also, you can get cute covers for it such as these:

Random: Sometimes I stumble across channel Go! and I see The Bachelor or The Bachelorette on and I always wonder.... why arent' they married already? I mean, they're all relatively hot. Gorgeous young faces, nice sense of fashion, with amazingly smokin' bodies. But honestly I think the show is really, just for show. I bet they're all in it for an easy fling with 10 other people - with the assurance that they'll all be attractive and perfect. But who knows, they could be looking for love. :)

Best show ever. I love family-oriented shows and movies! This is sort of like a modern and funnier take on Everybody Loves Raymond. It literally gets me laughing out loud. Just the stuff they say, and how natural it is even as a mockumentary. Funny, interesting, and usually a heartfelt message left in the end. Watch it.

Arent' they the cutest? Fierce Buttercup, so fierce.

o sweet buttercup

think straight

Here it is again, now Kim... make sure you get yourself in!

look at that beautiful..enticingly antiquely-structured piece of building, a piece of Hogwarts, a piece of which you fell in love with at first sight.

It's waiting for you.

@samsiv says: Do it for you. Once you’ve established that you really want it (high atar), that’s when you start working for it. Fuck the parents, fuck the friends, this is all you.

Just had a talk about HSC and uni with my mum. Yet again. She told me about a family friend who did a Diagnostic Radiography course for 3 years, come the prac session where she's met with broken bones and malnutrition... she fainted. She decided to leave that all behind and begin a Teaching course. What a waste, I say :( Which brings me back to a recent conversation I had with Peter. Like him, I'd like to keep my options open and look for other pathways. But to what extent..am I willing, to go through with it all? Those bigger and better careers, sounds goods, but not really me. I want something that I'm able to express myself, interact, share, have time to prance around, enjoy.

Bachelor of Education (Secondary: Humanities and Social Sciences)/Bachelor of Arts

yeah? yeah. :)

build a home, for you, for me

Out in the garden where we planted the seeds

There is a tree as old as me

Branches were sewn by the color of green

Ground had arose and passed it's knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top

I climbed the tree to see the world

When the gusts came around to blow me down

I held on as tightly as you held onto me

I held on as tightly as you held onto me.....

This song's been on repeat for me. It has this nostalgic vibe to it, but at the same time brings about a sense of hope. It sounds like a walk alone and you're reminded of certain things and you kind of think...where did it all go? As the strings and piano build up on a crescendo and everything feels okay, you're ready to take on anything. His voice is so soothing and at the same time I feel him reaching out to me, like he can understand everything I feel at the moment. Have a listen to it.

I'd like to lose myself in an orchestral experience. It's never too late to dust off my sheet music and classic books, lay my fingers on those black and white keys... is it?

Why I've been M.I.A. No reason really. I struggle enough with articulating the right words for an English essay let alone a public blog post. But I'll try getting into the swing of things again :)

message digested.

DO SOMETHING PRETTY WHILE YOU CAN.

"The more I think about this phrase, the more scared I become. I’m not doing anything great or beautiful right now. I’m writing an essay and checking tumblr and facebook. I’m young, but life is uncertain and I don’t know how much longer I’ll live. What if I died tomorrow? There would be so many books I hadn’t read yet, so many songs I hadn’t listened to, so many paintings I hadn’t painted, so many countries I hadn’t visited, so many people I hadn’t met, so many ideas left unspoken and unfulfilled. It’s always because of uni or work I never have any time. But, I don’t want to make that an excuse anymore. I want to create beautiful things while I still can and I guess that time is now."

-overdosebabyblue.tumblr.com

Dear Kim,

stop complaining

stop hating

stop procrastinating

play later

Yours Truly.

On a more irrelevant note, did you know:

That Winnie The Pooh was based on psychological problems? Winnie had an eating disorder, Pigglet had generalized anxiety disorder, Eeyore had major depression, Rabbit had OCD, Tigger had ADHDA and Christopher Robin had schizophrenia.

Sure, it makes sense, but that just killed my childhood right there. Pow.

visual dismal

You have no idea how many times in my head I've said "Fuck this, I'm going to Hogwarts." If only that could happen.

Lyrics that don't make sense. eg: Fireflies-Owl City. I'm sort of feeling like that these days, nonsensical, absurd, ridiculous :)

BBT keeps me sane. I love Sheldon Cooper. I wanna be his "C-Men"

This reminds me of Autumn break '10. The many beaches and treks I went on with the family, looking for places to fish and shell-fish. Pretty wild flowers and untrimmed grass. I want to run in a field of wheatfields and fall in and eventually sleep..and wake up to an array of stars in the night sky.