I've been meaning to dedicate a post which reflects on the year as I did in 2008. But seeing as how last year I was being the sad kient sitting at home while everyone was out on NYE, I dot-pointed everything I could remember. This time around, thankfully, dear Bui requested we share our insights of the year through the aspects of : Family, Friendship, Love and Work/School. Larisa had a shot at this which really had me thinking on what I had experienced and achieved this year- some may be disappointing, some may be awesome but I'm sure it's all worth it either way.
This will be a long post. Brace yourselves.
Family
It's safe to say we all have issues, but we stick together.
My parents, for as long as I know will always treat me as a child-their little girl. But as this year went by I learnt it is easier to just be honest, and voice my opinion when I need to. I know my dad is still trying to get used to, or trying to avoid the fact that growing up is inevitable and that I need to experience things for myself. They may be overprotective, and I may be locked by their boundaries and morals, but in the end, I am thankful for having them.
I've never been close enough to my siblings but this year I saw a different side in each of them. My eldest brother comes home now and then. Though we may never understand why he still sticks around with his wife, our door is always open for him. My sister, I'm glad she is looking more healthier because she goes through so much-that is why I don't hesitate to babysit for her, she and my brother-in-law needs a break sometimes. My brother James, still in VN on business and taking care of my grandmother while participating in charity work in the rural areas. He may have stuffed up in the past, but he has done us proud :) For sure. Some days I miss the wild roar of his car and his alarm system going off, the smell of his gel and his CK perfume and the sound of him making his ice coffee every morning..but it's okay. We exchange emails once in a while :) I can't wait to see him and catch up when I go next year!
The kids of the family are as always annoying, but shining bright as ever. Jennifer, let me tell you, she is a smart cookie and will be smarter than me when she grows up. Though she is a bit materialistic at the moment, but I'm sure I can slap that out of her :) Janet is improving very well, and every step on the way there is always a story to tell about our little Christmas miracle. Vincent is doing fine, though sometimes I wish we could just take him home with us so we can take care of him better. He is such a little game freak, but really good with numbers as I see :) Meeting Michelle this year was truly a highlight. Speaking of which, she just sent us a Christmas card with her itsy bitsy Kindergarten writing wishing us well. I have never seen a child so full of love.
Friendship
Earlier this year I endured a phase of "mind over matter." When things went crashing down I thought it was best if I left a good friend of mine, because I felt like a failure to my parents, to her parents, and to her. Only to realise afterwards, no matter what, she is always there for me. I say this all the time, but though we hardly spend time together anymore, she remains at heart, the best friend I ever had. I am a person who rarely have fights among friends-especially good friends. But this year, two fights between two of my closest guy friends really opened my eyes about how much I need their friendship. He always seems to know the right things to say. And he will support me through and through.
My girls, oh my girls. Lots have happened this year hasn't it? Two certain ladies, I love spending time with you and I'm glad we have become close this year. Many adventures to come, I am sure of it! For all those laughs, bitching sessions, luvoes, everything and more, I love my girls :)
School is worth it because of you guys, really.
This year, I knew who my true friends were. Those frienships that have just started, the ones that have grown stronger, and those that are left in good memories. You guys know who you are :)
Love
Ahhhhhh. This year I survived one of the hardest, and most fulfillingly devastating breakdowns of my life. Wow, I make it sound like death. But kudos to you, for all those lovely memories- good and bad, you put up with me and I'm pretty sure that's a difficult thing! And though I may have my bitter moments, of still 10 months later I'm still known under your name- I cherish those memories we shared. Thank you for being such a sweet boyfriend, caring, understanding...you were perfect. But "The Ugly Truth" is, perfect only goes so far. I'm glad it ended beacause I really learnt something. It was truly something.
The good thing and bad thing about relationships is the question: to go for it? or not go for it? You never really know. This year I was hesitant for rebounds, flings, and everything else related. At times I say to myself, "Man, everyone has someone. I want someone." You miss being in a relationship and the attachments that come with it, really. But this year I learnt that its best to think for yourself at times. I questioned what could have been, how will I go on, but in the end: it is my happiness that should be nurtured and cared for.
A while back I thought I was into someone of a completely different world. He's funny, great to talk to, has an awesome appetite, and is a bit out there. But it was just a case of 'you want what you can't have' and I'm okay with that. I'm living the single life and that's good enough for me!
In other loves, I learnt that love exists in any living and (maybe) non-living form. My loves for reading have limited to only what the English HSC has in store for me- but I just love chilling by that sofa with my feet up reading any kind of material(even if it makes me fall alseep.) My love for being around good company + good food + good atmosphere = good times inspires me to love life as it is :)
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” - Moulin Rouge.
Work/School
This year I remain unemployed, why? Because I'm not bovvvvvvvvered. Do I look bovvvvvvvvered? I joke. Okay maybe not. But in spite of this, I plan to gain as much working experience in whatever I can do, gotta boost up that resume for what its worth. I did however, explored some of the fields I may/may not be interested in the near future. Fairfield City's Champion gave me the wonderful opportunity to write articles for their Adopt a School program earlier on and let's just say......I successfully wrote ONE. That's two things published under my name, woop woop! And another, Fairfield (jee I sure love my local community 8-) City Museum and Art Gallery had me snapping photos that are now framed and put up amongst the other budding photographers of the Our Neighbourhood project. I must say, I'm quite proud!
School had it's ups and downs. On performance, I kind of failed myself. It is true that once you fail there is no one else to blame but yourself. But soldier on lad, HSC calls for the one last chance. It's either make it or break it. I keep telling myself this and I know I've got to get a move on with everything. If I could, I would go back and continued to try hard as I did in Year 7, honestly. I don't know what went wrong from there. I said in 2008 that I would decide on what I really want to do, and yet, still..I am indecisive. Those trips to USYD and UTS were inspiring, mesmerising, but unfortunately- not life-changing. I figured, I just want a certain mark. I want THAT mark. Just get that mark and run with it- everything you work for will be worth it.
As 2010 approaches, I am up for new experiences, new things to see and learn. I hope for a year of clear thinking and determination that will grant me success. 2010 will be hard, but with the strength of my family and friends- it will be all right.
Cheers to the new year!(even though its not here yet, I'm just too hyped.)
